Competition
by faintest-whim
Summary: She, Lilly Truscott will win everything in the end.
1. Chapter 1

(she sucks on the salt until her lip bleeds and tears come to her eyes and she wonders when she became so weak)

"Listen," he tells her harshly, grabbing her by the shoulders and she fights the urge to smile (how sick is that?), and he speaks seriously but all she can comprehend is Lilly.

He still talks and he's so seriousangry. And she can do nothing but stare, stare at the one thing she desperately wants to have.

(he's been noticing her glances since the past month)

(Lilly, I'm _worried _about you)

Has she been abused? No. Physically, _no. _She isn't a coward, running away and coming back and running and coming and _whimpering. _She, Lilly Truscott, is strong. She still goes to school and still eats meals and still hangs out with Miley Stewart (the Diva, she whispers when Miley isn't listening to her) and she'll continue to do that even if it killsmurders her. Murder.

She, is a tough chick. She, is mentally abused by her own thoughts. She, has become so hollow and bitter on the inside, why not start on the outside, too?

(she stops eating when Miley comments proudly about how she's been in shape, since she's whisper_HANNAHMONTANA_whisper and she looks at her legs and they shine and whisper_UGLY_whisper)

She, Lilly Truscott, will continue to be tough, even after she dies.


	2. Chapter 2

She's right. She knows it. It's a competition, something that will suck them brittle, and she can't wait.

So she starts to eat less and less and waits for the moment where she will finally outshine Miley Stewart. She'll wait. Because yes, Miley can be first and loud and sunny for the time being, Lilly can wait until she tearscrumples like the _fake_ she is.

And when Miley finally falls from the podium, she'll come on, and everyone will cheer for her, for her, for her…

When she wakes up her hand is covering her mouth, and she realizes she's crying. They sparklesparkle in her blurred vision. She smiles. She blames Miley. She blames Oliver. She blames herself. No, she doesn't blame herself. She blames Miley and Oliver and MileyOliver. She blames them, and she'll ruin them when she wins. She will.

(her mind is filled with sparkling tiaras and fuzzy images and an emptiness she loves_loathes_, and when she winswins it _all_, there will be no tiny wisps of _lilly, _there will be no shadows. there will be the burningsun.)

--

When she isn't in denial about life, she plays a game. Not a fluffy, marshmallow game that leaves you bloated and delirious, she plays a game that challenges her to win, to _be in control._

(if you don't eat today, you can eat an apple tomorrow)

She wins. She always wins.

(you don't need that ugly waxy apple)

(you don't need anyone)

(anything)

(you'll just need me)

(me)

(_me)_

(it's time to be my friend, Lilly. Are you ready?)

--

When she wakes up, her heart is beating so quietly she could only hear the creaking of her mattress, of the metal frame. The frame that is subtly melding into herself. She's always wanted to be in the clouds, feeling the threads gently brush her cheeks, to have the tendrils wrap around her and create a cocoon where no one can see her. No one can hear her. And when she comes out, they'll love her even more for her icy demeanor. She'll rule.

She's always wanted to feel like a queen. Happy. Flitting. Delicate. _whisper_somethingshe'llbecome_snarl. _

_(you're okay. you'll be okay. if you listen to me and no one else.)_

--

That girl looks particularly thin today. That one, too. But especially that one, in the middle, laughing with her _boyfriend _and they look so familiar-

_freezing/glare/shock/venom._

Miley.

(you're in a competition, after all)

(she's your competition)

(the one you can beat)

(beat)

(now)

(_now)_

The pounding in her head is so loud she sits down on the sand and feels it scatter and move and whisper, and the sky seems so blue, brightlightblue. And she lies back and closes her eyes because right now, she wants to be far far away from Miley, from the obnoxious yells and sunscreen and plasticshiny souls.

Lilly Truscott sits up.

Lilly Truscott looks at her legs.

Lilly Truscott freezes and stares and cannot be moved. She whimpers.

_whisperUGLYwhisper, whisperUGLYwhisperswishcrackleswoosh._

(get it together. now. win.)

(_now.)_


End file.
